Here are the five things you probably don't know about me. It took a lot of soul searching and imaginative interpretation to come up with five things that are new, true, decent and unlikely to stir up litigation.
Now, many of you know that I grew up in a town lying deep in the heart of redneck country called Kingaroy. I went to both primary and secondary school in that town.
Once, I woke up, made my bed, put on my clothes, underwear, shirt, socks, shoes, hat, and then went out to have breakfast. I must have been seven or eight at the time. My little brother James asks me, "Ready for school then, Jono?".
"Yeah, of course." At this point, I do a mental check. Shoes, hat, port, pencils. All ready.
"Then where are your shorts?"
James and Lizzie have never let me live that one down.
I am a chronic leaner. Leaning is my favourite stance. I find it more comfortable than sitting or than lying down.
I didn't find this out until I moved into King St, a massive house with five other people in it. For fun, we would watch eight episodes of Spooks in a row, argue about music and deconstruct each others' characters.
I can almost quote the entire script of Auntie Mame off by heart.
I don't know how this happenend. It was one of my late grandmother's favourite films, and is one of my mother's favourites too. I guess I watched it early and often enough to have it stick in there.
The only books that I have started and not finished are Vanity Fair, Three Dollars, Les Miserables and 1412. I think.
5. Youth II
OK. Doing two "Young Jono" things is probably cheating a little, but I don't care. It's Glyph's stupid fault for dobbing me in.
I cried excessively as a child. I could be easily provoked to tears until I was about eleven or twelve years old. I don't know why.
I name Andrew, Bron, Pablo, Jp and Randall Munroe (ok, it's a bit of a long shot).